Girlie was designated for Cattle Care this weekend while we went to visit my parents. I received this missive:
Subj: It's a good thing I stopped in...
When Boy, Jr and I got there it was obvious that the rabbit has gone to the dark side and taken the cats with her. I came through the door and I was met immediately by Tubecat and Squeachy and I calmed them down enough to tell me what was going on. Figgy was no help...he just skulked away - the guilt as evident on his face as his stripes.
"That rabbit...that evil black...RABBIT..." began Tubecat.."It wasn't our fault. She invited the Feral Rabbits over while Longlegs and Cushionchest were gone...they TORE the place apart."
I turned to Squeachy who nodded in agreement. "It's true...there were at least ten...maybe 20...they kept moving so it was hard to count. Eyesight you know...not what it used to be." He hobbled away toward the kitchen.
It was then that I noticed the wreckage.
Candy cigarette butts overflowed their makeshift ashtrays on all the flat surfaces.
Bunny poops were lined up on the carpet in an obvious "Limbo" game pattern...
Bunny bras and panties hung from the wings of the torso sculpture...
The cat boxes were overflowing all over the kitchen floor (the possible aftermath of an altercation of the bunny-feline variety).
The feeding station was as empty as a frat house fridge after Homecoming.
Someone had an O.D. on hay and hurked on the carpet.
Shot glasses were lined up on the coffee table and I glanced at Tubecat who was licking a strange orange residue from his fat flaps. "Carrot juice body shots", he said sheepishly.
I looked at bunny. She returned my gaze with disdain and thumped the carpet as if to say "Bring it, YogaPants..I've dealt with worse."
1 comment:
The visual of tubecat and carrot juice body shots is almost too much to bear.
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