By Girlie, who served as Master Chef Extraordinaire:
10. Unless you are MacGyver, perform an inventory before agreeing to cook a meal in an unfamiliar kitchen. A full soda bottle makes an excellent rolling pin, thanks for asking.
9. When the chicken boullion goes missing blame the most distant traveler. And then demand to search their suitcases.
8. Never assume that your cooking partner has enough common sense not grab something hot with his bare hands. Speak up or be ready with the burn cream.
7. If the above mentioned event comes to pass, don't be too harsh on your cooking partner. He'll be there for you when you end up burning yourself three times to his one.
6. When the non-cooks offer to help clean up, let them. We're commemorating the birth of the messiah, not the death of a martyr.
5. Despite long discussions about its pros and cons, canned or fresh, smooth or textured....you'll forget the cranberry sauce anyway.
4. The easiest way to boggle the minds of non-cook friends is to prove to them that real cinnamon buns do not come from a cylindrical container that pops when opened. Real gravy doesn't come from a jar, either.
3. When choosing a wine to drink while cooking, it's perfectly acceptable to choose one with bunnies on the label that with a coupon only cost you $6.99. Yes, it is. YES. IT. IS.
2. Never assume that your cooking partner won't pick the exact moment the turkey is done to have a bath, leaving you with the frenetic task of pulling the loose ends together. Just deal with it and blame him for the missing cranberry sauce, instead.
1. When mealtime is at last upon you, sit back and watch everyone else enjoy. Smile and nod at the praise, blush if you have to. (Then excuse yourself to hide the boullion in the distant travelers suitcase. No one needs to know you stuffed it in the junk drawer by mistake.)